The day began with a bang: firecrackers, neatly laid out in the street in the shape of two large red hearts, exploding in a deafening sound, heralding the start of a traditional Chinese wedding.The bride, dressed in white, was peering expectantly from her bedroom window, while the groom below looked upwards, prevented from reaching her by the ignited barrier. Once the firecrackers had subsided, he could approach.
But in true Chinese style, riddles and tests formed part of the ceremony and the door of the bride’s home remained firmly shut. ‘Give me ten reasons why you will love your wife,’ one of three bridesmaids demanded imperiously from the upstairs window. That task easily accomplished with answers including ‘because she cares for me’ and ‘she is the most beautiful woman in the world,’ another test was set. ‘Say “I love you” in eight languages.’ English, Mandarin, French came easily, other languages requiring some prompting.
The next ‘test’ involved putting an envelope of money under the door. When the first envelope was deemed to contain insufficient Yuan, another had to be given. At last the groom and his family were allowed in. One final challenge awaited. This time an envelope with the lipsticks of the bride and the bridesmaids was shown to the groom. ‘Which one is hers?’ The right choice was met with so much derision that he changed his mind and selected another. Shrieks of delight came from the bridesmaids: ‘You got it wrong! You got it wrong! ’ the groom humiliatingly having his lips smeared with the offending lipstick. Selecting the correct colour, he could at last enter the bride’s bedroom.
A variation of these light-hearted trials signifies the customary beginning of a day which is one of the most important in Chinese family life. Despite China’s tremendous population, getting married is a rite of passage. Lacking a suitable candidate, ‘marriage markets’, where parents come every Sunday to find partners for their children - as in Shanghai’s Peoples Square - are increasingly popular. Every aspect of the day-long celebrations is carried out according to ‘form’ which means no expense can be spared, the bride changing clothes at least five times. In addition to white, the colour red - for good luck - predominates.
What made this wedding in Dongjing, a small town in Shanghai province, less usual was that it mixed non-Asian with Oriental, my cousin’s son marrying the only child of a successful businessman in entrepreneurial China. What was not uncommon was that the couple were officially married a year ago and already had their first child. The events now taking place were the last stages of their marriage. ‘No wedding is complete without the proper festivities including all the family and we are talking about several hundred family members and friends,’ explained my cousin. ‘Sometimes couples take years before they have the celebration because their families have to save up.’
Kneeling before his bride, the groom once again declared his undying love and presented her with a bouquet of flowers. Still only ten o’clock in the morning, the ‘tea ceremony’ could then begin. With close friends and family looking on, bride and groom and their respective parents sat opposite each other on large wooden chairs in the main room, the bride presenting cups of tea to her in-laws while the groom gave cups of tea to his. Both sets of parents then handed the couple envelopes comfortably full of ‘dowry’ money.
Departing from the house in an entourage of cars festooned with flowers, the wedding party arrived at a large reception hall, to be met by dancing dragons and drummers. A reminder of China’s ancient past, the bride was carried in a sedan chair the short distance to the entrance. The wedding lunch was the perfect opportunity for excessive drinking or ‘ganbei’, the custom being – in order not to lose face – to finish the glass after each of numerous toasts. There was no champagne but plentiful beer as well as ‘baijui’ – a Chinese spirit which is so strong it is known as the ‘drink of death’, complemented by plates piled with beef, pork, prawns, crab and highly-prized turtle as well as dumplings, noodles, vegetables, lychees mixed with tomatoes, and copious amounts of water melon.
After lunch, the wedding party moved location for photographs. A favourite place in Shanghai province is Thames Town built in European style with gabled houses, complete with a town square, church and a statue of Winston Churchill. Religion may play little part in Chinese weddings but, in the new China, confident of its emerging place in the world, there seems to be no inhibition about adopting European customs and what more typical than being photographed against the backdrop of a church, even if no ceremony has taken place inside?
Also popular is Shanghai’s world famous Bund where couples pose against the city’s dominant skyline, the buildings of its growing financial centre, Pudong, standing like glass giants, mirrored across the Huang Pu river by the enduring classical buildings of pre-war Shanghai, when the city was characterized by its International Settlement. Vibrant as ever, with its tree-lined avenues, designer shops and markets, the city is a powerful blend of the old and the new. Dominating one stretch of the Bund is a huge statue of Chen Yi, ‘the first Mayor of Shanghai after the founding of new China’ – in 1949.
As the light faded, we returned to the reception hall for the climax of the day: the exchange of wedding vows. The groom and bride, this time with a white veil on her head and dressed in an even more elaborately embroidered white gown, walked down the red-carpeted ‘aisle’, music blaring. After pledging their troth in front of the reassembled multitude of guests, as the couple kissed, more exploding firecrackers surrounded them in a wall of fire. Having been separated by fire at the start of the celebrations, the ritual of the day meant their union was now complete.
